I was talking to my mum when I said “I had no confidence when I was young.”
She then said “That’s normal.”
For her, confidence is what you CAN do and how WELL you can do.
But to me, when I said to my mum that I used to have no confidence, I meant that I didn’t believe myself.
I think, for many people, confidence is something what my mum perceives.
And it used to be that way to me.
At one point in my life, I misunderstood that “I had no value.”
So I began “making effort” to “earn” a reputation, a prize, a title, a score….etc.
Studying hard, taking exams to be qualified, having eye lush extension etc….
But I was never, ever, satisfied.
Even if everyone praised, even if I got the top prize or grade, I never felt enough.
Don’t get me wrong though, studying hard towards prize or grade, getting beauty treatments are all good.
What wasn’t right about the way I was doing what I was doing was,
I was doing all these activities with the belief that “I wasn’t enough.”
I was doing everything in order to EARN something that I believed that was missing.
Because there’s nothing that was missing, as everything was within myself,
I could never ever satisfied with all the things I was doing!
I only found out why after I came across with energy work.
And that’s how I got in touch with my inner child.
I had to allow my inner child to speak to me.
Ray of Sunshine by Kaeko
All articles are my personal point of views.