I've been thinking about my meeting with him.
He came to see the post graduate show at Goldsmiths, in 2000.
He liked my work and I asked him, not knowing who he was, if he would be happy to leave his comment and name in my notebook that I left for visitors.
He glanced at the note and me quickly, then he said, he would like to but he didn't want to leave anything in that public notebook.
Instead, he gave me a piece of paper which bore his name, number and address.
He asked me to call him to meet up to have a chat.
Curious, I asked my course mate about the man, and she said he was a well-known artist.
I called the number, still curious to know what he saw in my piece, called "Time Capsule".
There was no sign of him picking up the call.
I decided to visit him at his address. Well, he gave me his address after all.
Writing a letter didn't occur to me as an option, after trying to reach him by phone for days.
It was before WIFI and smartphones.
I had no idea where his address meant. I reached his door and rung the bell.
He opened the door for about 10cm. With squinting eyes.
I said, "Hello, do you remember me? "
It didn't take long for him to remember me and he said, "I'll change, I'll be right back."
With that, he shut the door and disappear.
After few minutes, he came out in an elegant navy shirt.
I apologised for my visiting his house unannounced.
He dismissed it with waving his hand and took me to a nearby park.
Strangely, I had no memory of what we spoke.
But he offered me to read my dissertation. (But it didn't happen. I couldn't reach him by phone, and he couldn't reach me on my phone etc.)
After, he took me to a nearby cafe, where he bought me a cup of tea.
He was a very sweet man. Very kind.
Two years later, I saw him on the bus in London.
I think he recognised me but I was afraid to talk to him.
I saw a touch of sadness in his eyes, when I didn't have the courage to say hello to him then.
I felt slightly ashamed, perhaps.
I wasn't mildly disillusioned by what I experienced in the city, art, my life etc and I felt like I wasn't the same person I was before. Typical self judgement.
Well, I should have.
One day, we all will be gone. So why not giving up all barriers and walls that separate us from ourselves?